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NYC - How would you advise your daughter?

HPmatt

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Daughter w/b graduating college, working in NYC. Against our advice but sometimes wisdom has to be learned by experience.

Here is the dilemma - how should we advise her on personal defense?
Of course take some training in personal training, self defense, awareness of surroundings, etc.

Along the personal weapon front - should be we get her registered for CHL here in Texas, and then apply for a NY permit? Or just teach her to carry concealed and have $25,000 stored up for legal defense if she ever needs it.

From what I see with the 2A progress around the country, perhaps if it comes to court we could use the same argument as Gays - that NY is not giving her equal treatment under the 2A for legal carry of a handgun if she was living in Texas?

Thanks
 
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CT Barfly

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don't teach her to carry concealed...if ANYONE spots the gun the cops will be all over her and she'll be looking at 3.5yrs minimum. if she has to use it in defense of herself...same deal. guns are no joke in NYC...don't mess around.

she can probably get a permit for the home but not to carry out and about. long gun permits are easier to get.

if you can get her a NYC permit i would be quite surprised...most mere mortals are denied as not being sufficiently "privileged" people.

your best bet is to:

1. give her lots of money so that she can take cabs at night.
2. give her lots of money for rent so she can live in Manhattan below 96th street where she can hail said cabs to/from reliably.
3. give her lots of money for rent so she can live in a doorman building.
4. make sure she learns some street smarts and learns to avoid the usual crimes...drugged drinks, push-ins, tailgating into non-doorman buildings, etc.
5. tell her to not drink to excess...it's VERY easy to do since the #1 employer in the city is restaurants/bars. that's what she'll spend most of her money on (aside from rent). it's usually the women who get plastered that end up getting victimized by strangers and acquaintances...and police (at least two recent cases of NYPD officers raping women while on and off duty).


give her lots of money...NYC is a playground for the super wealthy. young women are victimized at an alarming rate there but it's really not that scary in the nice areas...it's not baghdad.

fear of crime isn't a good reason to tell her not to work there out of college. NYC is full of career opportunities for young motivated people, she will have a bright future. MILLIONS of young women live there and do just fine.
 
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davidmcbeth

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Really, she is going to have to take her chances in NYC. They don't like folks with guns. She might be able to wear body armor, maybe.

And if she moves to Chgo-land, move to DuPage County or Will County.
 

OC for ME

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The dead learn nothing. Move to a more liberty minded state or you're out of the will and disowned. :rolleyes:

Hopefully, you will not read about her in one of the local rags. Prayers and hope, hope and prayers. Good luck.
 

CT Barfly

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The dead learn nothing. Move to a more liberty minded state or you're out of the will and disowned. :rolleyes:

Hopefully, you will not read about her in one of the local rags. Prayers and hope, hope and prayers. Good luck.
NYC is not a death sentence. How about you spend some time there and see for yourself?
 
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davidmcbeth

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NYC is not a death sentence. How about you spend some time there and see for yourself?
I've been there many times, usually pick up some White Castles in the Bronx. NYC is a craphole for sure.

Super craphole. And I always bring protection..screw their laws.

The only good part of NYC are those White Castle restaurants ... anyone who can nuke the city and avoid destroying these I would appreciate it.

So about 1 sq. block is OK ... the rest? Who cares.

Now I grew up on the south side of Chicago ... when someone was with me from CT, he was freaking out first time we stopped and went to the lobby..they have bullet proof glass in that Whitey...didn't bother me at all.
 

PistolPackingMomma

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Can she carry mace? (I won't even ask about knives in NY...)

If it were MY daughter, I would see that she had training in a practical self defense hand to hand combat technique, like Haganah. Lots of money doesn't really solve the issue of danger; it travels, and it follows money. Knowing how to incapacitate an attacker and be aware of an imminent attack would serve her far more in life than the false sense of security of "having money".
 

CT Barfly

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Can she carry mace? (I won't even ask about knives in NY...)

If it were MY daughter, I would see that she had training in a practical self defense hand to hand combat technique, like Haganah. Lots of money doesn't really solve the issue of danger; it travels, and it follows money. Knowing how to incapacitate an attacker and be aware of an imminent attack would serve her far more in life than the false sense of security of "having money".
i think you may have misunderstood my advice.

the thing about money in NYC is that it allows you to live in nicer neighborhoods, avoid having to use public transportation late at night, have a person guarding your front door, etc. saving a few bucks by living in east new york or the bronx, ends up being a false economy when it comes to safety. for a young woman moving to the city, it pays to pick the right neighborhood in manhattan. landlords will give her a discount anyways...just have to negotiate. grammercy/kips bay/murray hill are filled with fresh-out-of-college chicks making their way. most of them will be just fine. don't be fooled by bushwick/greenpoint/williamsburg...those places are not as safe late at night and it's best to wait a few years getting used to the city before trying to move out there to make it.

bottom line is that she'll have to have the same common sense danger-avoidance that she would need anywhere else on earth. she can ditch her car (get a zipcar account for those special occasions) and learn the subway system.

i'm speaking as someone who has lived in both manhattan and brooklyn. advice for a son might be a little different, but not by much.

her biggest concern after deciding on Manhattan below 96th will be selecting an address that allows for an easy subway/walking commute.
 
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CT Barfly

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Well, you not knowing whether or not I have been to NYC or not, let alone spent any meaningful time there, it seems your geographical bias is showing.
mine is the bias of having years of recent/continuing personal experience living/working in NYC...reading your posts on this topic suggests to me that you either lack such experience or draw unwarranted conclusions from limited experience.

which is it?
 

PistolPackingMomma

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i think you may have misunderstood my advice.

the thing about money in NYC is that it allows you to live in nicer neighborhoods, avoid having to use public transportation late at night, have a person guarding your front door, etc. saving a few bucks by living in east new york or the bronx, ends up being a false economy when it comes to safety. for a young woman moving to the city, it pays to pick the right neighborhood in manhattan. landlords will give her a discount anyways...just have to negotiate. grammercy/kips bay/murray hill are filled with fresh-out-of-college chicks making their way. most of them will be just fine. don't be fooled by bushwick/greenpoint/williamsburg...those places are not as safe late at night and it's best to wait a few years getting used to the city before trying to move out there to make it.

bottom line is that she'll have to have the same common sense danger-avoidance that she would need anywhere else on earth. she can ditch her car (get a zipcar account for those special occasions) and learn the subway system.

i'm speaking as someone who has lived in both manhattan and brooklyn. advice for a son might be a little different, but not by much.

her biggest concern after deciding on Manhattan below 96th will be selecting an address that allows for an easy subway/walking commute.
I understood; I guess I just see it a little differently. Having money is advantageous if it allows her a safer place to live, and cabs vs. walking is usually better. It won't help her though if she does end up in a victim situation; it's more a passive layer of self defense than having tools *for* self defense, kwim?

I guess the way I see it is that is more a tactical advantage than a self defense measure, but comes with an illusion of safety. Not everyone thinks that they are safe just because they live in a good area, but a young individual might.
 

CT Barfly

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I understood; I guess I just see it a little differently. Having money is advantageous if it allows her a safer place to live, and cabs vs. walking is usually better. It won't help her though if she does end up in a victim situation; it's more a passive layer of self defense than having tools *for* self defense, kwim?

I guess the way I see it is that is more a tactical advantage than a self defense measure, but comes with an illusion of safety. Not everyone thinks that they are safe just because they live in a good area, but a young individual might.
i've always said that the first line of self defense is a big mortgage.

sad but true.
 

MSG Laigaie

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your best bet is to:

1. give her lots of money ............................
2. give her lots of money ................................
3. give her lots of money............................................

give her lots of money....................................................................

fear of crime isn't a good reason to tell her not to work there out of college. NYC is full of career opportunities for young motivated people, she will have a bright future. MILLIONS of young women live there and do just fine.
Why would you send/spend ANY money in new york? Even Remington cut them off.
 

HPmatt

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The big reason she's going is about half of her college ends up in NYC and the other half in DC - both crappy locations for personal protection. That was the risk sending her to school back east - will she ever come back - who knows... She's got her Aunt and husband in NYC, and she's been going there in summers since she was 10 or so. Roommates already have an area picked out - south of 60th - would actually say around midtown - where a bunch of them cram 4 to a 1000sf flat for about $4000 a month - would suggest we'd pickup the tab for an upgrade with doormen. Still - visiting is one thing, living there is another. Familiar with subway, got our credit card for taxis.

Definitely need to line up some self-defense training. Would also think mace or pepperspray.

We were there this summer - bicycled all of over the Manhattan - GW bridge, Fort Washington, World Trade Center, Manahattan bridge to Brooklyn, Dumbo ferry back - very fun town - median age has to be about 34…. Certainly a great place while you're single and starting a career. You'll be broke though.
 

CT Barfly

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The big reason she's going is about half of her college ends up in NYC and the other half in DC - both crappy locations for personal protection. That was the risk sending her to school back east - will she ever come back - who knows... She's got her Aunt and husband in NYC, and she's been going there in summers since she was 10 or so. Roommates already have an area picked out - south of 60th - would actually say around midtown - where a bunch of them cram 4 to a 1000sf flat for about $4000 a month - would suggest we'd pickup the tab for an upgrade with doormen. Still - visiting is one thing, living there is another. Familiar with subway, got our credit card for taxis.

Definitely need to line up some self-defense training. Would also think mace or pepperspray.

We were there this summer - bicycled all of over the Manhattan - GW bridge, Fort Washington, World Trade Center, Manahattan bridge to Brooklyn, Dumbo ferry back - very fun town - median age has to be about 34…. Certainly a great place while you're single and starting a career. You'll be broke though.
sounds like she'll be ok. best of luck.
 
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