Well,,,
He He He ,,, kinda funny..
I went to the Belfair QFC for "staples" today.
I wont bore you with the story about staying up all night and untill afternoon so I would be up, but not seem to eager.
So i drive to town, its 4 miles for those that care about stuff like that. I took my red car, cause thats the color of my car.
So I go in the store and try to grab a basket, but they are all stuck together and i have to waste my valuable
time prying them apart cause I only really need just the one, thank you! Why is this soooo hard?
Anyway I am waking around trying to remember why I am at the store, and why I have a basket??
Oh yeah,,,I know, Im shopping, for juice, and I remember I want some brocolli and colloflower too,
Oh yeah and some salad dressing. Did I mention that the moved the vegetables all around!
I swear, it literally took me MINUTES to find the stuff I wanted!
Then I still had to find the dressing, but that a whole nother topic, maybe Ill start another thread...
Anyhoooo I found some other things that I was out of, OK, a big jug each of Vodka and Tequilla,, like you need to know!
So now this basket is getting a bit heavy, so I decide Im done with this shopping thingy, besides, Im getting tired...
So I turn right to go to the checkout area. Funny, the checkout area always seems to be the right way to go.
Now Im walking to the front and, guess what? I have to turn right again and there they are,right where they were when I came in.
The checkout stands! I look at my basket, but cant count my items, but judging by its extream weightyness,
Im probably not 12 items or less, besides there is a backup in that line... So I walk on by...
Lo and behold but what do I see? All the manned, or girled checkout stands are also backed up!!!
Sooo Im standing there, holding this weighty basket with an unknown number of items trying to pick the very best line for me to stand in,,
when what to my wondering eyes does appear, than a smiling, young and pretty girl in a smock, bidding me, Come here...
She opened a brand new, never before used checkout station, just for me! I havent felt that special in years! Really,,, Years!!
So now she starts chatting me up, I can tell she is really into me, but she acts like shes just giving good customer service, but
Ive been around long enough to know the difference between a girl younger than my daughter thats got the hots for me
and a worker thats just trying to be pleasant and respectfull of a dirty old man that had to go to the store cause he ran out of booze.
So now with my breath propperly baited I wait for the sexy and suggestive small talk to carress the empty vacuum that is my soul.
Soo she slyly asks her first question, and its loaded with innuendo, or was it double entrandra, I cant tell,
Im not asking and it dont really matter to me anyways, I just breath it in, through my ears, and it smells good.
She says,,, "paper or plastic?" just like that, like it meant nothing. I bet she says that to all the boys...
So I play along and say, "plastic would be fine". I dont want to sound too eager!
Now she seems to be getting serious, but she doesnt allow herself to look outwardy flustered by my cool demeaner.
So she asks,, "How is your day going so far?" This could mean anything! What does want from me?
Love? money? A long term commitment? I cant tell. Im out of practice.
Ive got to appear cool, calm, collected,,, styling, Yeah, styling!
So I says back to her, in my suave voice, like I do this all the time. Like I know whats what. Like a man of the world.
I am going to be that man of the world, I know whats what. I am cool, calm, collected,,, styling!
I say, "its going better than I had expected,,, I havent been arrested,,, or assaulted"...
Nailed it!!!
I knew I had played her just right, this was going just as I had planned it, she was now putty in my quivering sweaty hands,,, Oh Joy!!!
But she is also cool, calm, collected. She has played this game before,,, OK maybe she has played this game a lot...
In a sexy voice, dripping with innuendo, or was it double entranda,,, I dont know,, remember, we already covered this,,, let it go...
Sooo what she said was,,, "There is still time"....
I bowed my head in shame as I slinked away from her checkout. I could hear her in the distance,,,
her sexy vioce dripping with innuendo, or was it double entranda,,, remember,,, I cant tell,,,
"paper or plastic?"
I bet she says that to all the boys...
I was a little edgy on my way to the car with my goodies. kept watching my six, remembering all the while, she said "there was still time"...
I couldnt find my car where I thought I had left it, but I remembered it was red, so I started looking at just the red cars,
then I found one... I still wonder if somebody moved it just to mess with my head. It was confusing.
I checked, and the key I had seemed to work OK in the locks, so I loaded up my stuff and drove home in it.
I guess that it will all work out in the end...
The End
ETA... Star Modelo Super, cross draw, 9+1 of 9x23 winchester silver tip, 125 grn @ 1460 fps... Oh My!!!