I spent about 10 years working in restaurants efore I got my first technical job. Did everything other than run the cash register: washed dishes, bused tables, cooked, and waited tables, along with the routine janitorial and maintenance required to keep a restaurant working. Two of the restaurants I worked in where high end. We had customers who would drive 120 miles or more to dine with us on a semi-regular basis. One was a 24 hour restaurant in a casino. The 4th was a hotel restaurant with nice menu and excellent Sunday brunch. I never worked in a chain of any sort. In none of the places I worked did the cooks/chefs get any tips. We were paid a fair hourly rate for our work. Waiters and bus staff were tipped to encourage the best customer service.
I was trained in a restaurant where the owner was a real PITA to work for because he was a perfectionist. But the training served me well throughout my time in food service, and has translated to a work ethic to this very day. Customers were not to ever have to fill their own water cups, beverages were to never run dry, bread was to be kept on the table until the customers made clear they were finished. We had an employee restroom and employees were never to use the public facilities. For obvious reasons, I'll never be a sommelier, but I was providing wine service at 15 years of age and doing a fine job of it. Having never tasted either, I make a better cup of coffee or spot of tea than many who consume it regularly: I regularly received compliments to that effect from customers who had no way of knowing my dietary habits. I can swap out a keg faster than many bar tenders. Or at least I could the last time I was working in kitchens. As a cook, food comes up in the proper order (appetizers before entrees) and at the same time. The well done (what a waste), 24 oz rib eye had better hit the window within 30 seconds of the sunny-side up eggs and pancakes. Whether cooking, busing, or waiting tables, a person ought to be moving quickly and efficiently.
I eat out rarely. Good service is getting very hard to find. I don't like running out of water. I really do like my courses served in the proper order, as ordered. I like a waiter/waitress who is attentive, but not intrusive. It is really nice to have a waiter or waitress who can actually offer an informed opinion about the various menu items: as opposed to simply recommending the most expensive item on the menu. No one working in a restaurant should ever say, "Well, I don't really like..." In a decent restaurant, with a good chef, broaden your pallet and experience good food. Put the cell phones away and work.
With that background. I am not a difficult customer; I'm not one to expect off menu or special prep work, I'm pleasant and patient. I know some things are beyond the waiters control. But I do expect a waiter to do his best.
I tip 20% for a sit down meal with decent service. More for exceptional service. Just this past week a waiter in Crystal City, Virginia returned to the table I was sharing with work colleagues after picking up our final checks to thank us for our generous tips. The service had been very good for Northern Virginia, which is most often too slow and inattentive for my tastes.
For delivery (most often to the office when a team is working late), I figure 10% is about right unless the order was unusually large or complex. Failure to bring the paper plates and plastic-ware I requested, however, gets that cut. It isn't like the office has a kitchen full of dishes we can use if the restaurant fails to send what we requested.
For take-out, I don't usually tip unless the order is complex or large, or it is obvious that the person preparing it for me is a regular waiter/waitress taking time away from tables. Most often, just the opposite is true.
I picked up some dinner for my team working late a few weeks ago at Olive Garden. One harried gal was dealing with several large take out orders, while 3 or 4 waiters and waitresses kind of loitered around the hostess stand doing nothing useful at all. Pretty poor customer service on the part of the establishment.
Anyway, nothing wrong with tipping more, or in cases where others don't.
Charles